Bugging You
by Seriously Nuts
Summary: What is Naruto to do after everyone convinces his girlfriend Hinata-chan to go on an seduction mission? Thats easy, make there life a living hell till her return.
1. Chapter 1

**OMG its ME!! I'm writing a funny fic.**

**(Loud Shrieking) I'm excited….**

**okay I'm calm.**

**Shall we begin?!**

**Disclaimer: I'm sorry I don't own Naruto. If I did Hinata would have Naruto by now!**

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Hinata lay snuggled to Naruto on there couch in there new apartment. They've been going out for a little over 2 years now, Naruto was now a respected Jounin and a successor to Tsunade to become 6th Hokage. Hinata was a Jounin also and was on the road of becoming clan head of the Hyuuga's, after they realized her true potential and her father got the stick out his ass.

Hinata finally got over that infernal stuttering and finger twisting habit of hers, she was more confident about herself and her body after all the compliments Naruto gives her. She developed pretty good over the years since she was 15, she was 19 now and has a curvaceous body to die for with a full ample chest.

Another thing Naruto constantly brags about.

She also dressed with a little less clothing now, those jackets of hers where burning her up sometimes. She switched to a white tank top with a mesh top over it, she had a tighter less loose purple jacket over her though. She wore shorts now, but they weren't short-shorts more like Bermuda shorts that were white with purple strips. Yes, her figure was seen more but still left a lot to the imagination, something reserved only for her Naruto.

Naruto after awhile changed to a more claming person, he wasn't as loud as he used to be, he guessed he had to reason to be loud anymore. He got all the attention he needed from his Hinata. It was like Hinata's calm demeanor had rubbed off on Naruto to the point that if someone insulted him he didn't retaliate negatively, he just shut them up with a snide remark that could destroy there ego. Thank the heavens he also changed his outfit, many people are still thanking Hinata for that. His outfit was still similar to what he wore before, the color just changed from that loud head aching orange to a relaxing navy blue. Hinata did miss the orange however and wasn't very satisfied with the new color, so on occasion he'd wear the old outfit just to make her happy. At times he'd wink at Hinata and remind her he still was always wearing orange…….you just couldn't see it.

Yes, Naruto and Hinata were **very** sexually active and he was pretty sure everyone knew about it. They've been caught enough times in public areas for people to know that they were very sexually active. Some may say he corrupted her to such task, Naruto just rolled his eyes, Hinata could be just as big of a pervert as him.

Ahem, well back to the snuggling couple on there couch, they were currently watching this action movie Naruto so desperately wanted to see when a poof was heard. They quickly turned around to see Shizune smiling down at them. Hinata politely greeted her and Naruto got straight to the question and asked what she wanted.

Some things never change.

"Hokage-sama would like a word with you Hinata, uh Naruto you can come along too." She then puffed away again leaving a confused Naruto, "Eh, what was that all about Hinata-chan? Do you have a mission or something?" Hinata just shrugged her shoulders and told him they should hurry, god knows they didn't want Tsunade to get too impatient.

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When they arrived they were greeted at the sight of Shikamaru and Ino, Neji and Ten-Ten and Sasuke and Sakura. (Yes Sasuke is back from killing his brother and all that other boring jazz).

They all seemed to be avoiding eye contact with Naruto.

"Eh, what gives? Does Hinata-chan have a mission or what?!" Hinata elbowed him a little rough, she still found it uncomfortable for him to address Tsunade-sama that way. Speaking of Tsunade, she slowly rubbed her temples but remembered the task at hand and soon started to chuckle a bit. "Yes Hinata does have a mission, a **seduction** mission."

Naruto almost chocked on air.

"Are you _**INSANE**_! My Hina-hime cant possibly do such a vile thing! Send Anko, she can do the vile thing." The calm, cool and collected Naruto flew straight out the window. What was replaced was brash, loud and knuckle-headed Naruto and oh was he mad.

Tsunade looked at him with a bored expression and waved her hand in the air carelessly, "She's been swamped lately with these type of missions and needs a break Naruto. Everyone needs one once in a while." Naruto wasn't having that however, he scanned the room looking at every possible female candidate.

"Ino." Naruto said pointing to her, Shikamaru blocked Ino and glared at Naruto, "What about Ino." His tone clearly told Naruto to not go any further, but again this is the knuckle-headed Naruto rate now. " She's more experienced! Hina-hime has never been on one, Ino's practically a pro! Why not send Ino?"

Naruto held this eager and desperate look to Tsunade, who desperately was trying not to laugh, "Naruto, Ino's had her share also. Plus she is needed at her family's family shop, so she's busy."

Naruto rolled his eyes, _'It's fucking fall, who the hell wants flowers.'_

By now Naruto was pulling his hair out, god why was this happening to him! What if his Hinata-chan had to dress provocatively in front of…..strangers. NO! Dammit, that was reserved for him, "Ten-Ten!"

Neji immediately brought that idea down, "No."

Naruto eyes narrowed at Neji, "Why not! This is your cousin for crying out loud you, **fucking fire crotch**!" Neji tried to get his hands around Naruto's neck but Hinata blocked him and gave him a deadly glare.

No one messes with her Naru-kun.

Tsunade was snickering by now, "Naruto, Ten-Ten has had her share of these missions also. Besides she's more fit for…..well things other then this basically, she's more of a rough house anyways." Naruto eye's widened at this, was Hinata the only girl in the fucking village that didn't go on a seduction mission! Finally his eyes laid on Sakura and Sasuke immediately answered a strong, dark 'NO'.

"SAKURA! Come on she barely does anything. I mean look, how hard is this." He sets himself in a Sakura pose and flashes his eyelashes. He started walking on his toes and pursed his lips, " Hi! I'm Sakura and I'm going to heal **you**, then **you**, then **you,** oh and will you look at the time I have to go **bang** my chicken headed ass boyfriend. You know gotta rebuild that clan!"

Sakura's face got red and she almost jumped on Naruto, but yet again Hinata blocked him. So she settled for a pissed look and a vain popping forehead. Sasuke on the other hand, " Hinata if I were you, I'd keep Naruto in check."

Hinata narrowed her eyes at him, " And if I were you I'd get checked. I heard Sakura was burning a little." His eyes widened and he heard a snicker in the background, just to see Shikamaru covering his mouth and act as if it wasn't him.

Tsunade rubbed her temples and slammed her fist on the desk, "No! Naruto, Sakura is needed at the hospital, what if a emergency happens?!" Naruto was quick to retaliate, "Well no one told you to teach just **ONE** person how to be a **decent** medic-nin" He was sure there were other people she trained, just not as much as Sakura.

Everyone mumbled in agreement.

"Baka shut it! In the end it's Hinata's decision whether or not she wants to do it! Hinata?" Tsunade looked in Hinata's direction to see her response, Hinata looked quite nervous. She could either be selfish and send another person who probably needs a well deserved break or she could risk losing fun time with Naruto.

The room got quiet.

Naruto got nervous.

Tsunade leaned forward, and then,

"Yes, I'll do it."

Hell has frozen over….

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Oh! Naruto wasnt liking this....wonder what Naruto is gonna do now that Hinata's gonna be gone for a while.

He he...his rampage has just begun......

Oh, this fic is just a side activity im still doing Vengeance too!! This one will just be shorter and funnier.

TTFN!!.....


	2. The Plot unfolds

Thanks for the reviews! I felt pretty special!

I think I needed a break from 'Vengeance' it was too depressing for my taste. Besides I'm more of a comedian anyways, I was voted class clown!

But enough about me….on to the Chappie!!

Disclaimer: Sorry never owned Naruto and never will.

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Naruto sat on the side of there bed pouting.

After they left from the Hokage's office he hasn't said a word. Well not to her actually, but to everyone else he shared to them his very colorful and unique vocabulary.

His mind wondered to the very people involved in tricking his Hina-hime to go on this mission.....

Stupid Tsunade, and her dumb ideas. Having giant breast must have really sucked the brain cells from her. Just because her life sucked didn't mean his had to too! Naruto rolled his eyes, _'Nobody told her to be an alcoholic.'_

Stupid Shikamaru and Ino, and there mixed up relationship. He didn't even know whether they go together or not, Ino and her stupid pride and Shikamaru being lazy they could be stuck in this phase for some years, so why couldn't she go! Naruto thought about them and laughed to himself, he could see Ino bitch slapping Shikamaru and telling him to ask her out for crying out loud, while they're both in a cane around there 50s.

Stupid Neji and Ten-Ten, and there boring relationship. All they do is sit around and observe others, and if they're not doing that they're training. He could see them years later down the road, Neji sitting on a couch with a smoking pipe in his mouth while wearing reading glasses and Ten-Ten in the kitchen somewhere having a stroke in the oven. _'Serves her right…..she can't cook anyways.'_

The finale stupid people were Sakura and Sasuke, and there……STUPID relationship. He wasnt calling them or there relationship stupid, just there....personalities. For god sakes no matter how much Sakura tried to tell evryone she had her own mind and her life wasn't being a fan-girl anymore, he could tell she she obviously lied. Once she got with Sasuke its been Sasuke **this **and Sasuke **that**……for heavens sake the guy wasn't something to really behold. Sasuke was like a brother to him and he loved him and all but DAMN, could that guy really pluck his nerves. He sometimes thought if Sasuke tried hard enough he could get Sakura to beat Choji in a eating contest if he wanted to.

Hinata looked at Naruto as he was in deep thought, she felt so bad for him. "Naruto-kun, what are you doing?" She was currently packing up her things and noticed Naruto stopped whinning. Ever since they got together Naruto and her has been joined to the hip.

Naruto's face wrinkled up when he spoke, "Thinking about our STD's infected friends." His face was still in the form of a pout and he didn't want to look at her. He wasn't mad at her, he couldn't do that! It was just the nerve of his friends, taking advantage of his Hinata-chan good heart for there own selfishness.

Hinata saw his face go from a cute pout to just plain anger, "Naru-kun don't be like that. You know its only fare. How do you think Shikamaru, Neji and Sas-……well Shikamaru and Neji felt when there girls were gone." Sakura never went on such a mission, but she was pretty sure once her Naruto-kun became 6th Hokage Sakura would be seeing more of these missions instead of the hospital.

Insert evil smile.....

"Well how would they feel-" Naruto stopped in the middle of his sentence and thought, _'How would they feel with there girls gone from them? If** I** cant have my Hina-hime for the next-'_

He looked puzzled, "Hinata-chan how long will you be gone again?"

"Two weeks the most Naru-kun."

'_Two weeks, then those bastards cant have **there** girls either. If __**I'M **__not getting laid, hugged, or loved for two weeks then those guys aren't **either**.'_

Hinata looked on as Naruto's face went from anger to the oh-so-familiar mischievous face she grew to love.

And she kinda feared it too, " Naruto-kun, what are you thinking **NOW**."

Shhhh Naruto's thinking, "Plotting." He said it so casually, he was in his thinking mode so that alone took a lot of his brain power, so multitasking was out of the question. Hinata eyes widened at that, Naruto never was good at taking bad news so he always either held a grudge or got them back with a mean prank. "Uzumaki Naruto! You will do no such thing while I'm gone on this mission. Do you hear me."

Naruto still seemed to be in his own world and kind of waved Hinata's words off. Until he heard a evil, dark voice that kind of reminded him of Star Wars 'Dark Vader',

"I said _**DO YOU HEAR ME**_!?" Hinata really knew how to intimidate Naruto, because he immediately snapped back to attention and stuttered a, "yes".

Hinata smirked, _'Who's my bitch.'_

Just like that she switched back to her sweet, innocent adorable self, "Good! Now Naru-kun I've finished packing and now you can carry my bags with me to the gates. Come along now." Hinata turned to walk out the door with Naruto behind her, he rolled his eyes at her back, _'Why am I so whipped?'_

Then she stopped walking.

For a second there he feared she saw him roll his eyes or learned how to read minds, but when she turned around he saw no anger on her lovely face. "On second thought _**Naru-kun**_, they can wait. I want to give you a two week supply of _**me**_ while I'm gone. Only enough to last you till then too." Her stance was sexy, her voice was sexy and that strip tease was REALLY sexy.

'_That's why…..question solved."_

"Naruto-kun, **remove the pants NOW.**" Hinata smirked as she saw he obeyed her, _'Your my bitch'_.

And insert one steamy two hours…..

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"Where are those two! They're late." Sakura was obviously fuming over the two lovebirds tardiness. The rookies all stood at the gates waiting for Naruto and Hinata to show up, they wanted to wish Hinata good luck. Plus possibly get Naruto drunk enough not to remember Hinata was gone. He could sometimes be a pain when Hinata wasnt there.

Pfft! Fat chance on getting drunk stopping him.

"**Really** Sakura, I just thought those two invisible people over there were them." Ten-Ten rolled her eyes, no duh they were late. Shit happens, what else could she say.

The vain in Sakura's forehead got bigger and Ino magically pulled out a ruler to measure it, "You beat my record Ten-Ten, seven and a half inches on the dot!" Ino and Ten-Ten giggled to themselves as they gave eachother a high-five, jeez it was just a joke.

"**INO**!-"

"Hey Sakura, mellow out. Its kind of too early for that. Here have my cinnamon roll…..I already had my **sweets**." Hinata looked over her shoulder at Naruto and winked at him. Both ended up giggling perverted.

Damn that vain was growing, "You two were doing **that**!……Hmmm, I actually cant blame you on that." Everyone stared at Sakura, "What, who hasn't before a mission of some sort?" Naruto looked at Sakura like she was an alien, _'Well I'll be damned, she does have a brain not related to Sasuke.' _

Hinata just felt awkward in the situation rate now, Sakura could be so bi-polar sometimes. "Ummm yeah, I'm just gonna go now. I just wanna get this over with." Naruto looked at her with a 'I don't blame you, these people are weird' expression and gave her a long hug. "Now Hina-hime write letters whenever you can. I'll send you one everyday! Don't let those jackasses touch you! And-"

Naruto just kept going on and on even though Hinata was gone from site, "Naruto she's gone already would you give it a rest." Naruto slowly turned around to find the source of the voice, the first one that will be the victim of his 'two weeks celibacy' plot.

The voice that would soon feel his wrath was no one other then……

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Ohhh, Cliff Hanger!!

BURN!! Got ya!

Who will it be Neji, Shikamaru or Sasuke? Give me your guess!!

Guess you'll have to wait to find the 'victim', and I myself cant wait till they start writing letters to eachother...

You'll just have to wait, review and see!

TTFN.


	3. Victim1

Chappie three coming at ya!

Oh and thank yous SOOO much for the reviews…..made me all warm and fuzzy inside! I read who you all think it was…..and I'm surprised, really if I did put what the characters normally would say it would be way to obvious right? So I tricked you guys up a little, anyways lets reveal Naruto's first victim…..

Disclaimer: Sorry Naruto isn't mine!

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_"Naruto she's gone already would you give it a rest."_

Naruto turned around to see Shikamaru staring at him with a bored expression, "Come on Naruto you can handle a couple of weeks without Hinata. Thinking about her will just be too troublesome on your part and ours."

_**Processing….**_

_**Processing….**_

_**Target LOCKED!**_

Nara Shikamaru was his first target, "Tomorrow."

Shikamaru looked at Naruto confused, "What?" Naruto shook his head and got rid of his dazed expression. "Tomorrow I want to spend the day with my 'friends'. Separately."

Sakura arched her eyebrow, "Separately?"

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Yes! You know S-E-P-A-R-A-T-E-L-Y. Meaning not together, I want to spend breakfast with Shikamaru and Ino and we'll see who I spend lunch and dinner with as the day goes. How does that sound?" Everyone had these 'I don't know about this' look on there face.

"It's either that or handle a pouty, grumpy and mean Naruto until Hinata returns."

"**OKAY**!" Everyone yelled together, last time Hinata had a solo mission Naruto was a…..handful. He was back to his pranks and annoying habits and didn't stop irking everyone's nerves until Hinata returned. Maybe if they showed him the attention Hinata gives him he wouldn't be so bad. Minus the lovey-dovey stuff, Hinata can STAY doing that.

Naruto grinned at them, "Good, see you in the morning. So much to do, so little time." With that he went home to put together his plan, oh they would pay. Hinata may have said no plotting mean things on anyone, but he didn't **really **consider this mean.

It's not really nice either, but oh well those jerks deserve it…..

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_Dear Hina-hime, _

_Wazzz up! _

_I finally figured a quick summoning to get you this letter. Everything's going good, unfortunately I think Shikamaru and Ino might begin hitting a little rough patch…..again. I think Sasuke and Neji might have one too. Good thing you got me right, I always do what you say! Oh by the way Tsunade had to go to the emergency room today, something about someone spiking her sake with cat pee? I don't really know. Oh, I got to go I have breakfast with Shikamaru and Ino maybe I can help with there rough patch…Send me a letter as soon as you get this one please!_

_XOXO-Naruto_

_P.S.- We now have a cat!….._

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Naruto heard knocking on his door and hurriedly sent the letter. He rushed outside to meet Ino and Shikamaru, "Hey guys, ready for breakfast?" Ino blinked at him, "Jeez Naruto your pretty calm, considering Hinata leaving just yesterday."

_**Initiate plan…..**_

Naruto automatically had tears swell in his eyes, "Oh GOD! I miss her, you saw rate through me Ino! I just need a shoulder to cry on." Naruto turned to Shikamaru, who immediately shook him off. Ino glared at Shikamaru and put Naruto's head on her shoulder, "There, there Naruto we're here for you. Come on it's our treat for breakfast, lets go to that ramen stand you like so much, okay?"

Ino couldn't see him, but Naruto began to smirk. Not only does he get them back, but he might get free meals from each and every last on of them. With a couple of sniffs he continued, "Okay Ino. Your too kind, Shikamaru should be more kinder to you." With that said Ino beamed at him and Shikamaru rolled his eyes behind them.

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Ino, Shikamaru and Naruto all sat at the ramen stand eating. Well Naruto was basically the only one eating, Shikamaru only had two bowls and Ino didn't even touch hers. She just listened to Naruto tell his stories about his missions and days with Hinata.

When Naruto saw that Shikamaru was off guard and not paying attention plus he had Ino's full attention he started part two of his plan. "You know Ino, when I said Shikamaru should be more kinder to you I meant it." Ino looked at him curiously and Shikamaru wasn't even paying attention at the moment.

"What do you mean Naruto?"

"Well he's just so rude to you sometimes. He doesn't listen to you and he likes to see you get really mad before he does what you say. I mean a lot of guys would kill to be in his shoes and would do what you say in a heartbeat. Not only that but he always request that you do either home missions or missions where he's involved in it. You never get your own mission other then seduction, which means he doesn't appreciate you for your mind….just your body. I for one think your really smart Ino."

_Pfft, yeah right. Smarter then a grapefruit….._

Ino thought his words over and soon her face scrunched up into anger, "Yeah you know something Naruto, your right."

Shikamaru picked this time to zone back in, "Right about what?"

"See Ino, he wasn't even listening to you." Naruto had to bite back a grin, it couldn't be this easy. "YOU BAKA!" Hey what do you know, it was that easy. Hinata was right, words do hurt more then action.

Poor Shikamaru was just confused, "Ino what the hell are you talking about?" This somehow just made her madder, "YOU NEVER LISTEN!" Again Shikamaru was confused, "Listen about what, your acting like an idiot."

Big mistake

"OH SO NOW I'M THE IDIOT!I KNEW YOU DIDN'T THINK MUCH OF ME YOU JACKASS!" Ino was mad and Naruto knew it didn't take much to make her furious, "And he's a bigger jackass for accepting that mission in Sand for next month, you remember Shikamaru the one with Temari….your ex-girlfriend."

Shikamaru's head snapped to Naruto, oh so this was were she was getting this BS from. His mind finally processed what Naruto completely said and then…..

Oh Shit…..

"Ino I can explain that one, I really can. I mean I declined it at first, but Hokage-sama said I was the only one really qualified for this job."

"You mean you're the only one qualified for Temari…."

"Naruto would you shut up!"

"Don't tell him to shut up, you lying cheating bastard! You know what….I don't need this!" Ino was on the verge of crying and Shikamaru wasn't to far from that too. He had NO clue what the hell just happened and somehow Naruto just played them both into this. "Ino look nothing's going to happen, I don't even like her anymore. It's strictly business!"

" '**Anymore**,' wow Ino. A real good boyfriend slash possibly future husband would have said, 'Babe, if you don't want me to go on the mission I wont then.' He must want to go." Naruto slung his arm around Ino and held a grin at Shikamaru.

Shikamaru considered murder at that possible moment.

"Ino you CANT possibly believe th-" He never finished because Ino poured her ramen all over him and left the bowl on his head. "If you think your gonna get any of this before you leave your crazy! Just go to that sand bitch and have 'boom boom' with her! You two-timing JERK!"

Not only was Shikamaru soaked, but he was devastated. She cut him off completely, which meant he wasn't getting any, which meant…..

He was just like Naruto.

_Son of a bitch……_

"Come on Ino! I'll carry you out shopping to forget Mr. Jack Ass over here." With that Ino and Naruto left Shikamaru in the ramen stand. With not only people staring at a soaked, smelly man, but also…..the bill.

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_Dear Naru-kun,_

_Wazz uppp too!_

_Sorry it took so long to respond, I had to get my equipment for the mission. _

_We have a cat….YES! I always wanted one. To bad for Hokage-sama though, but she kind of deserved it right? I mean who drinks on the job? Anyways did you help Ino and Shikamaru in there little bump there going through, I hope so I think they make a nice married couple! Try to help Sasuke and Neji out too, you know your good at those things….oh man I have to go. Some weirdo with glasses keep staring at me. Write me back as soon as you get this letter sweetie!_

_XOXOXO-Hinata_

_P.S.- Remember to behave yourself!_

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Naruto read the letter and smirked, she had no idea how much he was going to 'help' everyone. It was 12:00 and he had to head to his next victim….oh was this going to be a blast.

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Aww poor Shikamaru,

poor boys when Naruto's finished with them.

Who's the guy with the glasses following Hinata too? Don't forget to guess who's Naruto's next victim and tell me what you think, in other words….review!

I got to run and do my homework so, TTFN!….


	4. Victim number 2!

Thank you for your reviews!!

Loved IT!! Now without further wait here's the next chappie….

Disclaimer: Sorry Naruto isn't mine either!…

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_Dear Hina-hime,_

_Of course I will behave myself Hime! _

_I'm going to have lunch with Neji and Ten-Ten today, you know the 'boring' couple. They'll probably try to be cheap and make me lunch at home. Better be prepared to have a good puke, you know Ten-Ten cooking sucks. Maybe I can fix there….rough patch too! _

_Oh yeah I'm going to do that for sure…..HEY who's the four eyed freak following you! Do I need to go there and fix any problems? Let me know, but I have to go got a lunch to attend. Write me as soon as you can!_

_Lip lock- Naruto_

_P.S.- Our kitty made a mistake and took a whiz in Shikamaru's shougi board…._

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Naruto sat at his desk in Hinata and his apartment, folding the letter up and sending it away. Once finished with that he stood and entered the kitchen thinking about the earlier events.

Ino was gullible and Shikamaru was the smartest idiot he'd ever met. If Ino fell in his trick so easily that meant she didn't trust Shikamaru that much in the first place. Drinking some milk out the carton Naruto froze in thought…..

Pfft! Not his problem…

**Knock Knock Knock….**

Naruto really hoped that was Neji and Ten-Ten, Shikamaru had made enough threats for one day. Jeez the guy couldn't take a joke to save his life….well his sex life anyways. Naruto smirked, that jackass was going to go through hell. Ino and Shikamaru not only are on the same team, they have parents who are best of friends and they **live **together. Ino was going to torture him with her body as best as she can.

Oh and she can….

Naruto shook off the dysfunctional couple off his mind and opened the door to be greeted with a smiling Ten-Ten and a scowling Neji.

"Hey Ten-Ten!….Neji." Naruto gave Ten-Ten a hug and just stared at Neji with a grin. Neji just furthered his scowling , "I talked to Shikamaru." Neji said as he narrowed his eyes at the smiling blonde.

"And I talked to Ino!" Ten-Ten beamed up. "And I must say I'm proud of you Naruto, telling Ino the truth and not letting her heart be broken in the end. I know you guys like to keep guys talk to yourselves, but what you did was-"

"Stupid." Neji cut Ten-Ten off and crossed his arms over his chest. "It was non of your business to interfere with there relationship. You and I both know Shikamaru wasn't going to do anything with that Sand girl." Neji had this look that just screamed, 'I know what your doing now stop it' all over his face.

Naruto racked his brain to come up with things Neji might have told him and the other guys on one of there 'guys night out', but nothing came. The guy was just too boring, he either sat and listened himself or was the sober one to guide the too drunk people home.

Naruto thought to himself, _'I'm going to need Neji to get a life'_.

Sure he was a beyond excellent Shinobi and probably the best boyfriend, but he was still boring. However, Naruto arched an eyebrow when Ten-Ten's face got red, "What did I tell you about cutting me off!" Neji just stared at her unfazed at her anger, "Don't do it unless your saying something stupid….Surprise-surprise you were." Ten-Ten could hear him mumble under his breath the word, 'again'.

"What's that! Speak up **Mr. Quickie**!" Neji composure slipped and he stared wide eyes at Ten-Ten. Naruto just stood in his door way shocked.

**_No she didn't…._**

That was a **HUGE **shot at a guys pride and he kind of felt bad for Neji.

Pfft! That wasn't his problem either….

Blinking back to the arguing couple Naruto watched as Neji made a fuss.

"That was** ONCE**! Never happened again after that!! And what about you **Ms. I Dye my Hair BROWN**! I should have known you were a born blonde, you act dumber then Ino and Naruto put together." Neji held this victorious grin, and even though it didn't ease his ego about him being Mr. Quickie it would have to do at the moment.

Naruto looked at Neji in shock, not only did he call his own girlfriend dumb but he called out her real hair color. He noticed the only non-boring problem with Neji is once he's started he just cant seem to keep his mouth closed, "And call me Mr. Quickie all you want I was a virgin when that happened, you weren't exactly new to it though."

Naruto jaw dropped, no Neji didn't.

Ten-Ten eyes widen with anger, "So what are you saying? Your girlfriend is a dumb slut!" Just when Neji was going to answer Naruto interfered.

"TIME-OUT!!"

Naruto ran to the window to receive a letter from Hinata, he thanked the summoning and opened the letter.

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_Dear Naru-kun,_

_No everything's fine, the weirdo in the glasses was just Kabuto. He wanted me to remind you to tell Sasuke he was still going to kill him. Oh and he said he couldn't believe those jerks gave me a seduction mission, he's actually a cool dude._

_But your cooler! _

_Jeez I hope Ten-Ten and Neji don't get in an argument in front of you. Neji has this tendency to run his mouth a little too much. Try to stop him if he talks to much, and bummer for Shikamaru and his game. I heard cat pee is a hard smell to get out too. Well I got to go, send me a letter when you can!_

_Smooches- Hinata_

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Naruto ran back to the couple and exhaled, "Okay Time-in." Ten-Ten blinked in confusion, "Naruto what was-"

"Don't you want to know whether or not Neji thinks you're a stupid whore?" Naruto bought Ten-Ten up to speed and she snapped her head at Neji. "Well?!" She snapped at him.

Neji looked at her like she was retarded, "You just paused our argument because Naruto told you to and you just resumed it rate where we left off because Naruto reminded you. No Ten-Ten I don't think you're a slut."

Ten-Ten had this victorious smile on, she really thought she won the argument and Naruto looked a little peeved that Neji didn't run off at the mouth.

"**But** I do think you're an idiot." Neji just couldn't help himself.

Naruto smiled when he looked at Ten-Ten she looked as if she was going to throw the bag in her hand at Neji, "Is that food in the bag for me Ten-Ten?" Ten-Ten looked at the bag and shoved it to Naruto while she took the juice she had for him and poured it all over Neji. "Stupid that you little prick! And if you think your getting any Ten-Ten tonight you have another thing coming."

Ten-Ten smiled at Naruto, "See you around Naruto." She then turned to Neji, "And I'll see you at home, be prepared."

Neji looked pissed and a little frightened mixed together, he was soaked and he'd be hearing Ten-Ten's mouth all night. Not feeling it, HEARING it and not the good hearing the NAGGING hearing. "I blame you Naruto you know this right." Naruto shrugged his shoulders and pointed to Ten-Ten, "Your girls glaring at you." Neji mumbled a , 'what's new.' then jumped when Ten-Ten yelled.

"Hyuuga Neji! Bring you ass here NOW!!" With that Neji left Naruto's doorstep with Ten-Ten yelling in his ear.

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Naruto sat at there kitchen table enjoying the food Ten-Ten brought over. Why, because she bought it at the food stand and didn't make it herself. He smiled to himself, he didn't even have to attempt to destroy Neji's sex life, Neji did a fine job himself. Sure he could have intervened but where's the fun in that, besides did Neji intervene when making the choice of whether or not to send Hinata to this mission.

Serves him right.

Besides he did it all to himself, Naruto would think Neji would be smarter then that. He guessed Neji's big ego and pride got in his way of correctly handling the situation. Looking down at the letter he was writing Hinata he continued writing.

_Dear Hina-hime,_

_Bad news, Neji just wouldn't stop talking and now Ten-Ten wont stop Nagging._

_Hey I kind of made a rhyme! _

_Oh and I'll tell Sasuke, that Kabuto wants to kick his ass/kill him. Who do you think would win? Sasuke is my BFF and everything but my moneys on Kabuto. The guy has gotten a little nuts after the Orochimaru thingy you know? Well I have to get ready for dinner, got to buy some aspirin too._

_Dinner with Sasuke and Sakura is enough to give anyone a migraine, but it's free food! So write me when you can babes!_

_French Kisses- Naruto _

_P.S.- Ten-Ten wanted to borrow our cat, she said she needed pee, inspiration when making Neji's dinner._

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Naruto scribbled out the 'pee' part at the end, he didnt want Hinata to know Ten-Ten was going to do that to her cousin. Pfft! Another thing not his problem...

Naruto sent the letter off and yawned, Jeez ruining people's lives was tiring. At the same time fulfilling, **Knock, Knock, Knock.**

Naruto looked at his clock and saw that it was time for dinner, he smirked.

Time for the **_grand-finally_**!

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Oh what is Naruto planning for our Sasuke and Sakura….Something damn crazy that's what!

Stay tuned for next chappie, it's a good one!

Poor Neji, why cant he be nice just for once! Welp Ten-Ten will take care of him….Plus it's obvious Ten-Ten isnt really a blonde so please dont ask.

TTFN!


	5. Victim number 3

Chappie 5! Oh yeah!

Thank You all for all the reviews! I felt warm and fuzzy inside…lol!

Disclaimer: I'm sorry, I don't own Naruto.

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**Knock, Knock, Knock….**

'_Music to my ears…' _Naruto smirked when he heard the door knock again for the trillionth time. He took his time just to make the couple even more mad. Thinking about all that's happened in the day he couldn't help but smile,

Shikamaru: Probably blocked for a good month.

Neji: Knowing Ten-Ten and her women's pride, he's blocked for a good month and a half. Ten-Ten was the type of person that would ignore her sexual urges just to see Neji squirm for her.

Naruto smile turned to a grin when he opened the door to see his last target,

Sasuke: If he played his cards right he could get this bastard blocked for a good two months, three if Sakura's that gullible.

They both had this annoyed look on there face and Naruto briefly wondered if there kids would be cursed with such looks. There kids would either look like a preppy big ass forehead idiot, or a emo depressing jackass.

'_Oh well, another thing not my problem.'_

"Dobe, are you ready." Sasuke crossed his arms and glared at him and Naruto briefly wondered if that was a strain for his eyes, "Yeah Baka! You had me and Sasuke-kun-"

"Waiting for ever, yeah I know lets go." Naruto cut Sakura off and rolled his eyes. Sakura was like a sister to him and all but DAMN she could work on his nerves, so before he left the apartment he went to the bedroom and got a big medicine bottle. Sakura looked at him curiously, "Naruto what's with the big bottle of aspirin, do you have a headache?" Naruto sped up his walking and mumbled under his breath, 'No, but I'm going to.'

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_Naruto-kun!_

_I'm bored and I miss you loads! My vote for winner of the butt kicking is……Kabuto. _

_He is kind of crazy after Orochimaru…..death? _

_Anyways I never really seen Kabuto so out of character over a gay jerk, you know!? Hey while your on the dinner with Sakura and Sasuke, ask Sasuke if Orochimaru ever tried to be….you know….frisky with him._

_You always know Sasuke is lying when he has a retaliation for things, he usually looks at you like your crazy if he isn't lying._

_I got to run now, work to be done! Behave sugar lumps!_

_XOXOXXOO-Hinata_

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"Naruto it's rude to just read a letter and ignore us when we're buying you food!" Sakura was glaring daggers at Naruto, who just ignored her and rolled up the letter. Turning to Sasuke, Naruto spoke, "Kabuto wants to kick your ass....... Everyone's rooting for you though bud!" Sasuke looked at Naruto with a 'what the fuck' expression.

"Hinata told me in a letter I already read. Recently however we've been talking about other matters." Sakura arched her brow, "Like?" Naruto smiled, "Like…..Orochimaru matters."

Sasuke eyes narrowed, "What does he have to do with anything?" Naruto raised his arms in defense, "Hey now, I didn't mean to offend you. I know he meant **A LOT** to you." Sasuke lip started to twitch in annoyance, "Naruto what are you….implying?"

Naruto looked shocked, "Sasuke! I'm shocked that you would think I would jump to conclusions about your sex life. Sakura I'm just saying isn't it odd that Sasuke decided to go train with a guy who's tongue can expand longer then a tree? A guy who has GAY written all over his face and wants to train you day and night in his private chambers? **AND** invites you in his bedroom to 'train'?"

Sakura face got angry and she was ready to punch Naruto in a wall, when Sasuke stood up, "YOU BAKA! Say one more dumb ass idea like that and I'll burn your ass!" Naruto smiled at Sasuke, "Is that your favorite position….the ass?" He said this like he was asking about the whether. When Sakura looked at Sasuke she shrunk a little, she never really saw him look so angry over a **_possible _**joke.

Naruto was praying that this was just Sasuke anger coming out and that was the reason he was retaliating so bad.

'_You always know Sasuke is lying when he has a retaliation for things, he usually looks at you like your crazy if he isn't lying.'_

He definitely hoped Sasuke was just protecting his male pride and not anything else, so he dropped the subject. "Alright settle down Sasuke-teme, no need for a fight. I was just letting down some steam…..come on it was just a joke." Sasuke slowly made his way down in his seat, while glaring fireballs at Naruto.

Trying to bring up a new topic Sakura spoke, "Naruto you haven't touch your sushi yet." Naruto just stared at her before reaching in his pouch for his aspirin.

So far he had took a couple on the walk to the sushi bar. Sakura was gossiping while walking.....

Then he had took a couple upon learning they didn't serve ramen. Sakura said it was healthy for him....

Then had took a handful when Sakura suggested Karaoke. She wanted to lighten the mood.....

Leaving him with two aspirins left for another Sakura moment of dumb questions….He wondered why he wasn't dead yet of over dosing.

Gritting through his teeth he spoke, "I. Don't. Like. Sushi….Sakura." He was crushing the aspirin through his teeth while saying this, the numbness the chalky substance gave him was good enough to last him a while. With a smile he got back to his plan, "You know me and Hinata didn't **'do it'** until after a year and some months of being together. I heard Neji and Ten-Ten didn't **'do it'** until they moved in together and that was a year. Then Shikamaru and Ino didn't** 'do it'** until they moved in also….which was another year. Tell me Sakura-chan, you did wait a couple of months or a year right?"

Sasuke slammed his hand on the table, "Naruto….bathroom…**NOW**." Naruto smirked as he got up and was practically dragged to the bathroom by Sasuke. Leaving a gaping Sakura to herself.

When they arrived in the bathroom Sasuke pushed Naruto inside. Naruto caught his composure and held his hands up to stop Sasuke from hitting him, "Hey! Do I look like Orochimaru, I don't swing that way!"

**_SMACK!!_**

Sasuke gave Naruto a surrounding smack to the back of his head, "Would you cut that out, what's your deal!?" Sasuke said, he was beyond mad and was struggling not to murder Naruto. Naruto just ignored him and look around the bathroom, "Eh dobe! Do you hear me!?"

"Eh Teme, have you ever had a swirlly. You know a full effect of hearing a toilet swishing by your ears?" Sasuke looked at Naruto with a 'what the hell are you talking about?' look on his face.

"Eh, I thought not, let me introduce you....." Insert Naruto crazy laughter!

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"Get off of me! What are you do-**Ahh**!"

Sakura jumped when she heard what sounded like a girl screaming and would have never guessed it was her boyfriend. She looked towards the bathroom doors to see Naruto running out and pulling a chair to block anyone else coming out of the bathroom. He ran back to his seat with Sakura, kind of out of breath, "Now! Where was I?"

"Naruto where the hell is Sasuke!?" Sakura screamed at him about to get up, "Oh yes I remember, you sleeping with Sasuke the moment he came back." Sakura looked at him shocked and slowly made her way back down. "Sasuke-kun told you?" Naruto wanted to say, 'No you just did, thanks a load!' but refrained from it, that would ruin his plan. Instead he gave her a pity look, "He doesn't like fast girls, he said your haircut is sexy and everything but you seemed…." He trailed off rate there, slowly seeing if she would bite the bait,

"I seemed what!?" Hook, lined and sinker, she sounded so hysterical. Scrunching his face up Naruto spoke, "Desperate, clingy….sluttish. He said he loves you and all and wants to continue this but you have to take it all slow you know, more of a mental connection instead of physical. Like I don't know…maybe like...."

"No sex for like, like….ummm….two whole months! Yea I SWEAR I WILL HAVE NO SEX FOR TWO WHOLE MONTHS!" Sakura was getting pumped and stood up to announce that.

The restaurant was quiet until there were loud bangs on the male bathroom door, with a big bang Sasuke knocked the door down and rushed over to Sakura and Naruto. "Did I just hear you right!?" Sasuke hair was damped and he smelled pretty bad, but Sakura still beamed at him. "Yep! No need to just appreciate just my body anymore I have a mind too Sasuke-kun! I could see a mile away you were asking to take things slow!" Sakura said crushing him in a tight hug.

Sasuke voice was very high pitched when he spoke, " No I don't, we're just fine." Naruto came and patted Sasuke on the back, "Nonsense Sakura will not take no for an answer. You guys start ASAP right Sakura?" They both looked at a nodding, giggling Sakura. "Come on Sasuke-kun! Lets go home and have a NICE. LONG. TALK…then we can snuggle!" She took a firm grip on Sasuke's hand and lead him away from the restaurant.

Sasuke was practically in tears when he looked at Naruto, "You bastard are you happy now! You'll pay for this!" With that Sasuke and Sakura was out of sight of the restaurant,

"Excuse me sir, will you be paying?" Naruto smiled brightly at the waiter pulling out a wallet with the Uchiha symbol on it, "Yes I am, and here's an extra tip!" The waiter left with a very big smile, "Sorry Teme, looks like you're the one that'll be paying."

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_Dear Hina-hime,_

_I'm bored too! Mostly because my sweet dumpling isn't here._

_Good news I manage to save Sasuke and Sakura's troubled relationship, bad news I think Sasuke and Orochimaru had a thing._

_Ewww…_

_Ten-Ten brought the cat back later today, and Neji is currently in the hospital getting his stomach pumped. It's funny how many events came when your gone isn't it! Awww man, I'm tired Hinata so I'm gonna hit the hay._

_So corny, but I'm yours....._

_Write me back in the morning and good night,_

_Goodnight kiss-Naruto _

_P.S.- Are cat is Prego, what a whore right?_

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Naruto sent the letter smiling going to sleep….his Hime would be back very, very soon.

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What do you all think? Let me know in the reviews! I luv'em….

Next Chappie: The guys draw a meeting….

Plus I really wasnt sure if it's called a 'swirley' when you flush the guy head in a toliet? Eh whatever Sasuke stinked so I'm happy!


	6. Solution

I'm back with the next chappie! What do the guys plan for Naruto….Lets find out!!

Disclaimer: I'm sorry, I don't own Naruto.

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"All right Baka's settle down." Neji said trying to calm down the other angry two boys, who were quite fidgety. "Oh right we're the Baka's and you lost your chick because you didn't know how to shut up, every guy knows when to pick his fights Neji." Sasuke said, he was trying his best to stand still and have a convincing smirk. Shikamaru on the other hand glared at Sasuke, "What troublesome fights do you and Sakura have? Who's going to kiss your ass first?!"

….

…..

…..

Neji and Sasuke just stared at the rather loud Nara, "What the hell are you staring at!! Do you know how painful it is to have Ino walk around the apartment in some skimpy lingerie and not be able to-" Shikamaru stopped rate there and covered his face sighing. Neji came over and patted his back, "Two weeks man, two whole troublesome weeks….I'm this close in calling for a prostitute." Sasuke looked at Shikamaru like he was retarded, "No you're not, its not in your description."

…..

…..

…..

"I KNOW!" Shikamaru started to whine more in his hands, he knew he couldn't do something so worthless. Sasuke face scrunched up, "I don't know why you don't just get back with that girl Temari, she seems less of a pain." Shikamaru glared at Sasuke, "Did you have to date her….I thought so. She's cool as a friend, but as a girlfriend I thought I was going to kill her. Besides Ino has a amazing…..amazing-"

Neji chimed in, "Attitude, Smile?"

Sasuke, "Energy, Vibe?"

Shikamaru seemed dazed over, "Tongue and vocal cords."

The two stared at him for a while, "So this is Nara under sexual frustration? WAY different from your original self, but I'm going to need you to get it together." Neji said looking at him with a smirk, it was rare that Shikamaru lost his cool and even more rare that he voiced it out to people.

Shikamaru seemed to have gotten himself together and looked at Neji, "Whatever, look you bought us here for a reason. Now how are we going to handle Naruto?" "I vote we switch out Hinata and send Sakura!" Neji and Shikamaru looked at Sasuke like he lost it, "You want to send your girl on a Seduction mission?" Shikamaru knew Uchiha lost it when he came back from Sound. "I want to send her SOMEWHERE, she's talking the hell out of me! The dobe drilled it in her mind that I wanted to take things slow and me and that Orochimaru-teme had something going on. Now she wants to 'Out do him' by emotionally getting to me."

Shikamaru and Neji broke eye contact with him, "W-well we kind of thought-" Sasuke glared at the two of them, "You have the nerve to think **I'M** gay, when you two hang out with more guys then me!" Neji looked at him first, "What the hell are you talking about?" Sasuke smirked, "You would think that Lee guy would have **BEEN** raped your ass, he's always around you, wanting to spare with you, wanting to be better then you so you can **ACKNOWLEDGE** him!" Shikamaru had to suppress a chuckle at that, "AND you! That Choji guy adores you, I mean how gay is it that you guys became friends because 'you don't think it matters about his weight' or the fact that he basically only shares his 'precious' food with you!" Now both Neji and Shikamaru were glaring at Sasuke.

Neji grinned at Shikamaru, "Okay try this for your gay-dar, I'm Sasuke and as a hormonal teenager I ignored all the girls that were throwing themselves at me around the village. My first kiss was with Naruto and I wish he thought it mattered. He didn't so I left the village and found another annoying girl that wants to screw my brains out, BUT wait a minute this sexy old dude that looks like a snake is here! Wow is he a hunk sickle, so I think I'll stay with him for a while…" Neji couldn't finish because he burst out laughing. Shikamaru was laughing too but continued, "Wait a minute there's more! Turns out my sexy hunk Orochimaru cheated on me with Kabuto so I killed him. Then I traveled to find my brother and...BOY DID HE LOOK HOT! It was a shame he didn't want to be with me so I had to kill him as well, since I'm completely horny and out of options I want to go back to Konoha and bang that fan-girl Sakura…SHE SEEMS TO NOT KNOW ABOUT MY GAYNESS!!"

The two boys were clutching there stomachs while laughing, Sasuke couldn't look any madder at that moment. He considered to kill them or not but didn't do it, "Okay, Okay sorry Uchiha, but you asked for it. Okay on all seriousness what are we going to do about Naruto?" Shikamaru said looking at Neji. Neji looked at the two questioning boys, "I'm too tired to play Naruto games, I just got my stomach pumped of cat shit and have to figure a way to get Ten-Ten to stop glaring at me so…." Neji looked over at Shikamaru, "You're better at plans then me." Shikamaru sighed and motioned for the two boys to gather around him.

They all leaned in together to plot there best plan…..

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Tsunade jumped from her desk that she was currently sleep on, when she heard loud banging on her office door. _'What the hell?'_, "HOKAGE-SAMA!! PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR!!! **PLEASE**…" She walked up and opened the door to see Neji, Sasuke and Shikamaru rushing in.

"What the hell is your problems!" She was definitely grumpy they disturbed her nap. Neji straightened up and tried to speak as calm as possible, "Please….LET HINATA-SAMA COME BACK!!" Neji was clutching her robe for dear life, "If she doesn't come back soon I'm going to be in the hospital everyday of my life!!" Tsunade looked at him like he was nuts, until Sasuke latched on to her too, "PLEASE!! I cant take Sakura and her 'us' time anymore! If I have to cuddle up to her in a fireplace just to hear her read me a book about 'Love Making' one more time….I'M GONNA FLIP!!" Tsunade looked at Shikamaru to do the same thing but he looked as if he didn't care, "I did my bitching earlier its too troublesome to just repeat the same process. Just bring Hinata back so we can move on with our lives."

She pulled Neji and Sasuke off her, "Get a hold of yourselves! I know you all miss Hinata, but she'll be back in like two weeks." The three boys eyes widened, "T-t-Two W-w-weeks….ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!!" Tsunade blinked at Neji, he finally lost it. "Do you know what cat shit taste like?! Do you know how it feels to have your stomach pumped while your girlfriend is in the corner snickering at you!!" Neji got on his knees and wrapped himself around Tsunade ankles, "For the love of my big fat mouth PLEASE bring Hinata-sama back….she's the only one that can tame the ass wholes I like to call my lips!" Sasuke and Shikamaru stared at Neji for a while, damn was he desperate.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes, "Okay listen up, unless you want to hate the taste of Sake for the rest of your life I advice you to bring her back. The only reason you're sleeping and not drinking is because the doctor took your Sake because he wasn't sure how many other Sake bottles around here has cat piss in it, No Hinata back means no Sake for you….you choose Hokage-sama." Tsunade glared at Shikamaru for a while before sighing, she did miss her drunkenness. "Anko is ready for another mission anyways, why the hell not. Hinata should be back by tomorrow night." Neji face brightened up and he practically ran out the office along with Sasuke. Tsunade looked as they ran, "What a couple of Fags."

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Later that night Naruto received a letter from Hinata.

_Naruto-kun!!_

_Tsunade sent me a letter saying I did my part of the mission and I'm being sent back! I still get paid and I barely did a thing. I have to go and pack my things now!!_

_XOXO-Hinata_

_P.S.- Good job baby…..Your plan was a success! _

Naruto smirked as he finished reading, but then frowned when he saw there cat walking across. "Damn pregnant whore…"

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_Almost done with this one…well what do you think of Shikamaru's big plan! In the end the best thing he could think of was begging and pleading for his man dignity back….._

_Next chappie Hinata's back! Her and Naruto will explain how they went about to get her back faster….those sneaky devils them!!_

_REVIEW and TTFN!!_


	7. The master plan

Its here the last chappie!! Sorry for the long wait, but come on you had to be in suspense….

Disclaimer: I'm sorry, I don't own Naruto.

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Naruto stood at the gates giddy as ever, why all the rest of the guys around him was giddy was beyond him. Why was he so giddy, well duh his Hina-hime is coming back in like five minutes! He missed her deeply and was sure he would go nuts without her another day.

Or everyone else would go nuts…Or in some cases some would be missing there's.

"Damn, what is she doing…how much longer Dobe?" Naruto glared at Sasuke, but then smirked when he had a idea, "Sakura! quick Sasuke seems to be falling behind on chapter 16 of the guidelines of making love!!" Sasuke eyes immediately bugged out and held up a hand to silence Naruto, but it was too late.

Sakura came towering over him with her dictionary sized book on, 'How to make sweet-emotional love'. "Gotcha rate here Sasuke-kun!! Chapter 16...Patience, not having this can result in low stamina and quick re-"

"SAKURA!!" Sasuke snatched the book from her and covered her mouth, "Uhh I'll re-read it when we get home…promise!" Sakura pulled his hand from her mouth and crossed her arms sending him a rather harsh glare, "Promise what?" Sasuke looked confused for a second, "Promise you what I just said I'll do?" Sakura looked furious and her forehead vain seemed to increase in size, "If you read Chapter 10 like you said you did you would know what to say at the end of a sentence with me!!"

Sasuke searched painfully through his brain for what the hell Sakura, which he thinks currently has a mass amount of issues, was talking about until it clicked and he looked pale for a moment while holding a pleading look with Sakura, "Well?!" She was tapping her foot on the ground staring a him impatiently, "I'll re-read it when we get home I promise….Sakura: My everything." Sasuke got red in the face and ignored the funny looks everyone was giving him until he heard Naruto mumble under his breath, "I thought Orochimaru was your everything?" He would have retaliated but Sakura engulfed him in a rib-crushing hug. "AWW SASUKE-KUN I KNEW YOU CARED!!"

Ino shook her head and looked at Shikamaru mouthing the words 'Nutcase' towards him, the two laughed at this and Shikamaru held a longing look in his eyes. "You know I don't think you're stupid right and I do acknowledge your mind along with body. If you want I'll stop messing up your mission schedules and have you do the missions you're-"

"Shikamaru you know that's not what hurt me." Ino looked at him expectantly, she knew this lazy bastard just didn't want to get into the Temari area. Shikamaru sighed and leaned against a tree, "Ino she's just-"

"A friend and occasionally someone I work with plus I just respect her. You know I really love you and I wouldn't be with you now if I was cheating on you, I'm not that type of guy….and yes I know."

Shikamaru stared surprised at Ino, so it didn't go in one ear and out the other she did listen. So why was he going through all this bull with the rest of the baka's, didnt she know that PAIN he went through, "Why would you put me through all this if you already knew." Ino blushed before she mumbled, "Well you know I always over react and I didn't really think you would want to 'boom-boom' with someone that's going to slowly get bigger in the next nine months…."

Shikamaru eyes got wider as he slowly processed Ino words, "Ino, I've learned you have the best vibe, attitude, smile and energy…I cant wait to be a father." Ino burst out laughing and held her stomach, "Save the corny stuff for the baby you know you love me for my tongue and vocal cords!" Shikamaru smirked at Ino and pulled her against him, "You know me so well…"

Neji scooted over towards Ten-Ten and held a soft smile to her, "Everyone's made up, why cant you accept my apology?" Ten-Ten crossed her eyes over and stuck her teeth out, "Duh…I'm too much of a idiot to comprehend you Neji!" Neji narrowed his eyes at her and mumbled, "I believe you." Ten-Ten fixed her face and growled at Neji, "Dammit Neji! Be a boyfriend!!" Neji blinked at her in confusion, "What are you talking about?" Ten-Ten face turned red in frustration, "Stop being so mean, stop calling me names, take me out, hold my hand in public, JEEZ some romantic stuff…everyone sees us as the most boring couple in the village. EVEN THE 92 YEAR OLD COUPLE HAS US BEAT!!"

Naruto spared a glance from the gates to Neji, "Maybe Neji I don't know try having fun, take her out to dinner then a carnival or something that should be a good enough small start." Ten-Ten eyes bugged out and she gasped, "Naruto that is a big start, that's too much for me….I was thinking B.I.N.G.O. night or something at home?" Naruto faced looked annoyed and he dismissed them by waving his arm at them and turning away. Neji on the other hand smiled at Ten-Ten and grabbed her hand and kissed it, "You're smart and beautiful, I would be honored if I could walk you home and play B.I.N.G.O with you."

As Ten-Ten was about to respond Naruto hushed everyone, "Shut up Hina-hime is HERE." They knew he sensed her more then saw her since she was out of eye sight, but once she was in eye sight, "HIME!!" Hinata looked around for the source of the voice and saw Naruto making his way towards her.

"NARUTO!"

"HINATA!!"

"NARUTO!!"

"HINATA!!!"

It was beautiful the long lost couple slowly making there way back to there lovers arms, almost to there destination. "Oh would you bakas hurry UP!" Naruto and Hinata looked at Tsunade looking impatient, "Oh, okay." Soon there slow beautiful run fast forwarded and they collided, "MY HINA-HIME IS BACK." Hinata hugged Naruto back, "My Naru-kun is in my arms again…did you behave?" Hinata turned to look at her friends Ino, Sakura and Ten-Ten were nodding saying 'yes' and Shikamaru, Neji and Sasuke were sweating bullets they be damned if they snitched on this psycho path. Hinata smiled and gave Naruto a sweet kiss on the cheek, "I guess you behaved yourself." Naruto gave a grin and picked Hinata up, "Whelp see you guys later." The girls thought that was rather rushed but the boys could care less because upon Naruto leaving with Hinata, Shikamaru, Neji and Sasuke let out a breath.

The cock-block was officially over….

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When they got to there apartment Naruto dropped Hinata on there bed, "Jeez Hina-hime you didn't have to carry me all the way here." The Hinata on the bed puffed away to reveal Naruto grinning at her, the 'Naruto' standing up pounced on the Naruto on the bed and pushed him down before puffing away to reveal Hinata.

The master plan of these two…switch places. Why? Because Naruto would be damned if Hinata went to that mission…

Hinata straddled around Naruto as she spoke, "You should have seen them Naru-kun, they were putty in my hands." Naruto grabbed Hinata's thighs and stroked them, "See why I love doing it so much?" Hinata giggled and kissed him, "Yeah! Shikamaru looked like he was gonna cry, Neji was actually lost for words and Sasuke!" Naruto sat up a little, "Please tell me you had him squirming?!" Hinata put her hands through Naruto's hair and pulled tight, "He was squirming, kicking and screaming baby!"

They both let out big laughs and Hinata turned to the scrolls they've been sending to each other on the desk, "Naru-kun…what was the point of these? I could have been telling you the funny stuff in these?" Naruto picked up a scroll and played with it, "Still so much to learn, Baa-chan could be snooping around and might catch on to our game we play sometimes. Besides I tell you the funny stuff that happened on that dumb seduction mission in these." Hinata shook her head in agreement and laughed, "The one with Kabuto following you was the funniest!"

Naruto arched a brow at Hinata, "Ohh you laughed at someone else misfortune Hime has a bad side…I like it." Hinata pushed Naruto back down and screamed out loud, "Well then you're gonna love this....LET THE END OF THE COCK-BLOCK **BEGIN!!"**

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That's the end folks and that was the 'master plan'! Told you I was gonna finish and I did…HA!

They all made up at the end and Shikamaru's gonna be a daddy….oh lord could be a sequel to that!

I'm glad to finally finish something up here and the fact I will only have one story and that's 'Vengeance' on hold….thank you guys for sticking with me and my bizarre updates and its been real…see you after bootcamp!

Review and TTFN…


	8. Not a chapter, but good news!

_**Hello guys! Just wanted you all to know that I have FINALLY posted a new spin off from this story, it can be found under the couples of Shikamaru and Ino called, 'The Bachelors Party'. I know I had the idea of doing a spin off with Shikamaru going through the trials of pregnancy with Ino, but I thought this idea would be funnier! It's kind of a Hangover (disclaimer!) 1&2 theme, I hope it's not too played out or used a lot. So hopefully you will all like it, go check it out please! And don't forget to leave some gushy reviews! :D**_


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